Paul Matthew
When I was young I developed a phobia of Bees and Wasps, it was due to a pretty traumatic incident when climbing over fallen trees in a wood in my hometown and getting stung (A lot). I had kind of accepted that the fear, and all the behaviour associated with that was the new normal. It wasn’t until I was in my 20s that, with some encouragement, I decided to do something about it. I looked up a local private therapist, and over several sessions I explored the issues in some depth. Understood my fears and became a lot more comfortable in the summer when the bees and wasps were flying around. Nothing is complete and obviously I still don’t love them but I don’t let them get in the way of my life anymore.
In some thanks to that and many other events I chose to become a therapist. Years later while studying I had a pretty negative experience in therapy, after getting a Job in the place my previous therapist worked I had to look elsewhere and the person I found wasn’t my style at all, I didn’t feel understood at all and I didn’t really feel like they “Got” me. I actually felt a little judged.
Having been in the therapy world for over a decade now, I hear stories like the above. Of the several times I have been to therapy for short bursts in my life I only had one bad experience, and I wouldn’t say the therapist was bad, they just weren’t what I was looking for.
I have been mulling over writing about this topic for a while. I always find it interesting in my profession that it’s one of the only ones where you actively encourage people not to work with you if you find they might be better served elsewhere. It can also as a therapist and a client, however, lead to establishing wonderful, life changing connections.
Consider the modality
When choosing a therapist it’s often a good idea to consider how they were trained.
Pluralistic/ Pluralism
What you need to know about pluralism is that the therapist should have a toolkit of methods from various therapeutic styles that should be able to adjust the therapy to you. If you meet with a pluralistic therapist (or any modality) and it’s not a good fit don’t let that put you off a different pluralistic therapist because much of it could come down to personality and “fit”.
I don’t hide the fact that I am a Pluralistic Therapist (so maybe a bit biased). I personally find it’s unrigid enough to help pretty much anyone. It’s how I was trained, the pluralistic framework is pretty central to my existence as a therapist. In a nutshell the pluralistic perspective is Collaborative, Humanistic and upholds the Core Conditions of Carl Rogers: https://counsellingtutor.com/counselling-approaches/person-centred-approach-to-counselling/carl-rogers-core-conditions/
Mick Cooper explains it much better here: https://pluralisticpractice.com/main-blog/pluralist-philosophy/what-is-the-pluralistic-approach-and-how-is-it-different-from-integrative-and-eclectic-practices/
Unlike Person Centred which is non-directive, pluralism can be non-directive but if the client prefers a more directive approach (or a mix) then that’s what the therapist will provide.
Person Centred
Person centred is a non-directive approach developed by Carl Rogers using the core conditions (mentioned above) the therapist will aim to support you with whatever you’re bringing to therapy https://www.bacp.co.uk/about-therapy/types-of-therapy/person-centred-counselling/.
Person Centred can be very effective if it’s the right fit. It can be seen by some clients as a little limited and others as extremely helpful. Mick Coopers Article above covers that pretty well.
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)
Cognitive behavioural Therapy is a more directive, goal oriented therapy that is very popular in the NHS. It is designed to help you change perspective/ thinking.
https://www.apa.org/ptsd-guideline/patients-and-families/cognitive-behavioral
Some of the criticism for CBT are the directiveness, some consider it effective in the short term but (Sometimes) less effective with long term or deeper issues.
Psychodynamic
Psychodynamic therapy is the “OG” therapy originally developed by Freud, focusing on how current experiences are shaped by past experiences.
https://www.bacp.co.uk/about-therapy/types-of-therapy/psychodynamic-therapy
Many of the terminology you might be familiar with in therapy comes from Psychodynamic therapy.
Psychodynamic therapy has a range of pros and cons. Some of the criticisms are that it focusses too much on past experiences, can be costly and is less effective for some conditions.
Other thoughts on Modalities
When I describe Types of Therapy to my clients I ask the client to consider therapy as a rowboat. In pluralism both the therapist and the client has an oar but the client is ultimately in charge.
In Person Centred the Client has both oars and the therapist is there for verbal guidance.
In CBT therapy the therapist has both oars but the client can steer the rudder (No Metaphors are perfect).
In Psychodynamic the client has both oars but the therapist can steer the rudder.
This is all my rambling opinion and I fully encourage you to do your own research on each of the modalities. Follow the links I shared and look at the vast array of information on each, I absolutely have oversimplified everything. There are many other modalities too, many of which I bring in methods from in my practice, to name a few: Gestalt, Transactional Analysis, Solution Focused, Emotion Focussed Therapy, Narrative therapy…
Consider Costs and Availability
I say this to people a lot. As a therapist with a busy practice, while I support my clients the same I always have, It’s possible I don’t have the time and Availability to be as flexible (or put as much time out of sessions) as perhaps a newly qualified therapist might be. As an accredited therapist my prices may be slightly higher than a registered or newly qualified therapist.
Some modalities may charge more than others.
Look on the therapist’s website and sites like Psychology Today and the Counselling Directory
Therapists often have a website of their own, or a profile on one of the above websites. These generally give you a good idea of them and their approach and if you think they would suit you.
Contact a couple that suit and remember to be clear about what you’re looking for, your availability (generally) and the therapist should get back if they can see you.
Meet with the Therapist
Most therapists offer a free introductory session or at least a reduced-price introductory session. This is a good opportunity to meet the therapist and see if they fit.
Don’t arrange too many of these at once, remember these are people who are running a business, this is their livelihood. While you need to make sure they fit.
Don’t confuse discomfort with a bad Fit
A final thought on this topic but sometimes the therapy process can be a bit uncomfortable. Consider A. Are you ready to explore this stuff and if so B. Don’t give up on a therapist because of an uncomfortable session. The more honest you can be with your Therapist the more they can help you explore the discomfort in a safe way.
Whichever therapist you choose, I hope it is a rewarding journey.
Paul
Paul Matthew
MA, MSc, MBACP,
Founder and Lead Therapist, Harmony Counselling and Psychotherapy
